Thanksgiving

Today is supposed to be a day of Thanks. I have so much to be thankful for that I can't even list it all here. But mostly, I am thankful for my family and my amazing DH, Scott. He is my world! I am so glad for my wonderful Saviors love and that I know He is holding my baby right now. That gives me such peace about the loss. It still hurts very badly, but I know she is happy and in a better place.

I am also thankful for healing.
I found out this morning that Scott's parents (whom we are with for the weekend) invited a family from their church over for dinner. That was cool. I like the family and the dad is really funny. The thing is- I didn't know till this morning that their 14 year old daughter is about 5.5 months pregnant. Needless to say, I have been crushed all day. I feel bad for her as I know her whole life is going to be different now. She will never get to be the young teenager like all her friends. She is going straight to adult-hood. I am very glad that she and her parents have decided to keep the baby and that her family is sticking by her and helping her through this.
I am dying inside though. I tried to prepare myself for seeing her, but it did no good. I just keep thinking about how she is still practically a baby herself. Why is it fair that this happen. She makes one mistake with the 15 year old down the street and bam- she is all KU. I am a grown adult, married and ready for a baby and I loose mine. I just don't understand it at all. And I don't get why they had to come over. If we had known a few days ago, we probubly wouldn't have come. Or at least would have had a few days for me to get ready for this- mentally and emotionally. I have pretty much locked myself away all day and prayed for God to help me heal. I need this gaping hole in my heart to heal.

<3